My Story (A.K.A. My Testimony)
I am Cathryn!
I was baptized when I was around six, but I didn’t actually become a Christian until I was twelve. I realized then that I was messed up and I needed Jesus to fix me. Since that day I have gone through several bouts of depression, trauma and tears. If I did not know Jesus, I would have committed suicide. He is truly the reason that I am alive today.
My struggle with depression, the consequences of experiencing trauma, along with having ADHD and possible autism, resulted in my belief that knowledge was more important than my emotions. “Go with what you know, not what you feel” was my motto. Reason was good, and emotions were bad.
God has been with me through all my ups and downs, and especially the downs. He stuck with me when I questioned reality. He was with me when I was so angry at Him, that I cussed Him out. God was with me every time I felt like ending my life. My God has been with me every time I expressed my loneliness and frustration with being single and childless at my age. He proved He was with me again when I got to the point that I wished that I was a machine and never had any emotions.
God lead me to getting counseling, medication, and going to Recovery classes at my church. The Recovery classes have been the most influential in realizing my emotions are not evil, but God made created them for a reason. Emotions are markers of where I am, and God can use them to reveal truth and deepen relationships with other people.
I believe that Jesus Christ is God. The purpose of my life is to honor and worship God in everything I do. I fail to do this constantly, and if you read this blog enough, you will soon learn of my failures. However, I have a certainty that God already knew my failures before I ever committed any one of them. He is never disappointed in me and sees me as His precious child.
The relationship that I have with God is worth everything! God wants to have a relationship with you too. He wants you to know that you He already knows that you are messed up. God wants to be the one who cleans you up, and He doesn’t want you to wait to fix yourself. Why? Because God knows that you will never be able to do it. You will never be perfect and He wants you to stop trying to be. God doesn’t want your version of perfection, or the even best you can do. He wants you to depend on Him and love Him, and go to Him with everything and anything that matters to you.
I hope you will read my post “How to Become a Christian” and consider if that is something you are interested in becoming. If you are already a Christian, please read it anyway to either help me make my message clearer, learn how to communicate the steps to non-Christians, or to confirm that you are indeed a Christian.
Please don’t hesitate to comment or contact me with questions or concerns. I expect my readers will help me as much as I hope to help them. Thank you for reading about me, and I look forward to knowing you better too!
